next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
