Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
