i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
How external is "for external use only"?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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