his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
