Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
