We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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