This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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