hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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