she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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