your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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