he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
