vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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