It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
