he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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