Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Randomize
