ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
