so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
