I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
