so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
