The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
