K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just found puke in my bra..
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
