Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
