How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
