Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
