Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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