I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
