I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
