does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
