i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
