There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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