You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
