I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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