very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
