I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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