Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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