never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
