if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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