and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
