It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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