I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
