We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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