i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
