6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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