My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
