i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
