sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
