Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
why is half of my head shaved?
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