He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
