I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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