I've blown a few things in my day
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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