Well douche your snatch and let's go!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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