Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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