so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
