Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize
